grace is awesome. is that thing in your apt? how do you sleep at night?

ubeenserved

that THING is sitting in the cupboard of my cubicle at work.

the one BLACKY (their black dog) left for me LAST year is sitting above my microwave at home.

last years was creepy (norbert). one eye was shoved into his head. i took that as a sign that he was not perfect. he sits on my microwave so that he knows that if he acts up he gets nuked.

this years (philbert) is MUCH worse. he's in great shape. he looks invincible, and that terrifies me. fortunately, he doesnt "work". when you put batteries in norbert, turn him on and he starts clapping his cymbols. when you press his head, he SCREAMS. so far, philbert has remained taciturn.

dude,

you scare me so much.

that thing (you gave it a NAME?) above the microwave scares me. i take great personal satisfaction in nuking my food on the highest setting. i think our little devil monkey spawn is screaming on the inside. should he start screaming on the OUTSIDE, it's in the microwave he'll go.